|
|
Blacklisted!
(Preview)
Mick Mundy of Cooktown has gone to court to have the word "blacklisted" banned. Required to state his case, Mick said: "This racist word is demoralising for the blacks of this country! How can you put people on a list just because they're black. Why not put whites on a list also?" Judge Bernadette Cal...
|
boomer49er
|
0
|
692
|
|
|
|
|
|
William Shatner
(Preview)
|
Gnome Ranger
|
0
|
710
|
|
|
|
|
|
WD40 - Very versatile.
(Preview)
1964 WD40 AdvertisementThis is a genuine ad from 1964 when WD40 was released.These days, we can’t even handle Baa Baa Black Sheep.How would we go with this? I am not too sure about the “genuine“; it sounds more like something that the master of innuendo Benny Hill might have scripted. -- Edited b...
|
boomer49er
|
1
|
766
|
|
|
|
|
|
Out of the mouths of babies
(Preview)
We learn so much from children
|
boomer49er
|
2
|
794
|
|
|
|
|
|
Aussie Sensitivity
(Preview)
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor.Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor.She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!"Bruce came running in."Bruce, I've bloody suctioned m...
|
Gnome Ranger
|
0
|
770
|
|
|
|
|
|
Valentines Day
(Preview)
My mate's wife keeps dropping hints about a sexy gift she wants for valentines day."It begins with 'D' and ends in 'O' .. and it fits snugly in there", she winked as she pointed suggestively at her crotch.I said, "Where the f*ck am I gonna find a didgeridoo?" And thats when the fight started..........
|
Gnome Ranger
|
0
|
726
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, I wasn't offended
(Preview)
Oh yeah its a fake! But kinda funny anyway! -- Edited by boomer49er on Sunday 17th of April 2016 11:17:30 PM
|
boomer49er
|
2
|
1148
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Bless me Father"
(Preview)
Regardless of your religious affiliation - you gotta love this one!! A US Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Hendersonville, NC. He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever-living crap out of a flag burning, cop-hating, Muslim J...
|
kiwijim
|
1
|
1094
|
|
|
|
|
|
Your Old Girlfriend From Vietnam Says to Say Hello !
(Preview)
Your old girl friend from Vungers you know who you are man up. Met Her On A Recent Trip There.....She said you still owe her Five Bucks.
|
Weevil
|
4
|
1726
|
|
|
|
|
|
Muslim Doctors
(Preview)
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!K.J.
|
kiwijim
|
5
|
1179
|
|
|
|
|
|
The very model of a modern homosexual
(Preview)
Spare set of undies needed in case you wet yourself; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suegH9Dbqko
|
Hyacinths Husband
|
0
|
1021
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bugger it, let's offend everyone!
(Preview)
Subject: Bugger it, let's offend everyone! I came out of the chip shop with a meat & potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man, sitting there, said, “I've not eaten for two days.” I told him, “I wish, I had your will power!” I took my biology exam...
|
KFT
|
0
|
1096
|
|
|
|
|
|
French ad for condoms
(Preview)
FRENCH AD FOR CONDOMS ... IT PLAYED ON TV in France What a riot! This commercial is better than most of the shows we have on TV!Only the French could get away with this.C'est magnifique! http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0 Well I was not...
|
boomer49er
|
2
|
1240
|
|
|
|
|
|
Husband Store
(Preview)
Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopp...
|
Bman
|
0
|
1128
|
|
|
|
|
|
One Little Dot...
(Preview)
One Little Dot...The class was given a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class. He picked up a piece of chalk, made a small whit...
|
Bman
|
0
|
1096
|
|
|
|
|
|
You've seen the Commercials
(Preview)
You've seen the commercials - An erection lasting more than 4hours.But what really happens when you ask for help with an erectionlasting more than 4 hours?I walked into a drug store and asked to talkto a male pharmacist.The woman I was talking to said that she was the onlypharmacist as she and her sist...
|
Bman
|
1
|
1147
|
|
|
|
|
|
Adult Riddles
(Preview)
Adult Riddles Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~...
|
Gnome Ranger
|
0
|
1072
|
|
|
|
|
|
Catholic Schoolgirls.....
(Preview)
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head...
|
Weevil
|
0
|
974
|
|
|
|
|
|
Xmas Cancelled By Santa....
(Preview)
Santa is not happy with you so you are not getting a damn thing this year! 'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn nea...
|
Weevil
|
3
|
1253
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clive & His Driver....
(Preview)
|
Weevil
|
0
|
1120
|
|
|
|
|
|
69er
(Preview)
A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for a 69er." She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care." They go into the bedroom, and are 69ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings, so she tells him to answer the door. "But my face is a mess! I can't go to t...
|
STIX
|
0
|
1043
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sperm count
(Preview)
> OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-o...
|
boomer49er
|
0
|
1032
|
|
|
|
|
|
How To Recognise A Gay Bar....
(Preview)
|
Weevil
|
1
|
1010
|
|
|
|
|
|
Irish joke
(Preview)
Some years ago, Paddy married an attractive woman, Maggie, half his age, in a small coastal Irish community. After several months, Maggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her Grandmother all Irish women are entitled to a climax once in a while.. So, to resolve the pr...
|
KFT
|
0
|
1044
|
|
|
|
|
|
Especially for our older pilot(s)
(Preview)
ARE YOU A PILOT? I THOUGHT I WAS ... You think you have lived to be 80 plus and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell! An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman s...
|
boomer49er
|
1
|
1043
|
|
|
|
|
|
Shave & Shoe Shine (nudity)
(Preview)
A mate sent this to me, note the cutthroat razor! A loud mouth Texan sat on the barber's chair "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the most beautiful breastshe had ever seen, knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The Texan said...
|
KFT
|
0
|
1813
|
|
|
|
|
|
So sick its hilarious
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mogJ-BhtCJ0
|
Hyacinths Husband
|
0
|
1061
|
|
|
|
|
|
GOING TO HELL
(Preview)
I WILL PROBABLY GO TO HELL FOR THIS IT IS CALLED A BARKA
|
Gone long ago
|
3
|
1275
|
|
|
|
|
|
True definition of a co-pilot
(Preview)
True Definition of a Co-Pilot (This seems to clear up a long-standing question) Many years ago on a long Trans-Continental flight, an elderly lady asked if she could visit the ****pit. When she got up there, she found four crew. She asked the first what he did, and he explained that he was the Naviga...
|
boomer49er
|
0
|
1116
|
|
|
|
|
|
I never knew this ... very interesting
(Preview)
In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18, they had to participate in the following community ceremony: They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward. A beautiful young naked girl kneels over the ankles of each of the men. She places a blob o...
|
boomer49er
|
0
|
1100
|
|
|
|
|
|
I play golf on Fridays
(Preview)
I PLAY GOLF ON FRIDAYS! Ellen and her husband Bob went for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Ellen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of...
|
boomer49er
|
0
|
991
|
|
|
|
|
|
SCOTTISH COMPASSION
(Preview)
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women, from England, Wales and Scotland were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on....
|
Gone long ago
|
0
|
1056
|
|
|
|
|
|
What's in a word
(Preview)
Boy asks his Dad: "Why do people say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?" Dad replies: "It's just a saying, son. Its like, when somebody is caught stealing something, we say they have been caught 'red handed', even though their hands are actually blac...
|
olddigger
|
0
|
1156
|
|
|
|
|
|
ROLF HARRIS
(Preview)
I was shopping atBunning's HardwareThe other dayWhen I bumped into the‘Legendary Entertainer’Rolf Harris.I was so excited I said to him,"I remember you doing Two Little Boys in 1970".He said ....“fu@k off!... That was Gary Glitter.”
|
Sarg
|
0
|
1166
|
|
|
|
|
|
More poetry
(Preview)
As told to me by my uncle when I was about 10 years old - why can't I remember some of the less crass ones?? Mary had a little pig She couldn't stop it grunting She tied to a barbed wire fence And kicked its ******g **** in
|
boomer49er
|
0
|
1045
|
|
|
|
|
|
ONLY AN OLDIE COULD HAVE THIS COMEBACK
(Preview)
-- Edited by goinsoon on Monday 22nd of July 2013 02:02:20 PM
|
Gone long ago
|
0
|
1144
|
|
|
|
|
|
KIDS AND FARMS
(Preview)
|
Gone long ago
|
1
|
1182
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tooth pick please
(Preview)
|
Gnome Ranger
|
2
|
1227
|
|
|
|
|
|
Caution....Irish
(Preview)
An Irishman wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible"."1st - Who was born in a stable?""Red Rum" he replied"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?""It kills 99% of all germs" he repli...
|
radar
|
0
|
1170
|
|
|
|
|
|
Short and sweet
(Preview)
The human body has 7 trillion nerves. My wife manages to get on every f----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
olddigger
|
0
|
1189
|
|
|
|
|
|
WARNING
(Preview)
Sorry Ibbo WARNING DON'T FALL FOR THIS - IT IS A CHRISTMAS SCAM!!!
|
Gone long ago
|
1
|
1170
|
|
|
|
|
|
RATHER THAN.....
(Preview)
Think I much prefer the old way, takes less breath. It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be ea...
|
dwah
|
0
|
1104
|
|
|
|
|
|
politicly incorrec
(Preview)
The human body has 7 trillion nerves. My wife manages to get on every f----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
2weis
|
1
|
1237
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHARADES
(Preview)
|
Gone long ago
|
0
|
1060
|
|
|
|
|
|
ka-zoo player very suggestive
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSsY5pejO2Ia=zoo yes i stole this from another site
|
2weis
|
0
|
1041
|
|
|
|
|
|
something to offend every one
(Preview)
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE  What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do lawye...
|
2weis
|
0
|
1120
|
|
|
|
|
|
WELL IT MIGHT BE TRUE
(Preview)
They tell me you have to be very careful in Sydney
|
Gone long ago
|
0
|
1089
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bucket list
(Preview)
|
Blue Orchid
|
1
|
1009
|
|
|
|
|
|
SOMETIMES WORK SUX
(Preview)
Sometimes it is better just to stay at home
|
Gone long ago
|
3
|
1285
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jesus and the Labor supporter
(Preview)
"JESUS AND THE LABOR SUPPORTER" I hope you get a smile out of this one. (I don't care what party you like, this one's funny!!) A 'Conservative', in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The 'Conservative' looked across the restauran...
|
Hyacinths Husband
|
0
|
1053
|
|
|
